well damn

well one of the things i think makes me me, is im hardheaded. people think im full of shit when i say this. but i seem to be able to handle pain a different way then most people. From as a young lad watching my father, and from many years of football and matial arts, i got trained to take major pain and block it out to a point. i see and hear people get hurt and right from the get go they cant do anything cause there hurt. didnt see it happen, but with my dad after he crushed his hand. what i saw was a man who went on with everday life like nothing had happen.so when i get asked doctors what my pain scale is i dont know what to say.
they ask me right now pain its to be honset feels like a 2, but i know thats wrong. after i had brain surgery wasnt in alot of pain. people say cause they had you dopped uped i was for a little, but not long.
i have had done things to my body, that post people would be hooked on pain pills. i do hurt and hurt all the time. but i will not let any physical pain stop me from living.
in martial arts i have taken some good shots from some powerful people. but i keep wanting to know and feel more.
my biggest pain is that i lost my father when i was 13. he never got to see me grow up. my mother raised me the best she could, even though from her best efforts i never grew up.
I started growing up July 8th 1999, the day i gave meagan a back rub that went for 4 hours off and on.
Emotional i think i still got a long way to go, Meagans working on that.
We right now are going through some ruff issues, with this recent surery.
My emotion really start going the right way 4 years ago, when Nathan our nephew was born, right now he is smarter than most adults. earler this year went in to even more focus when sophia came in to the picture. Havent got to really get to know her yet, but i think with my sister amy as her mom shes going to know more about me lol.
dad always showed me never back down, when your hurt you move forward. meagan has showed me its ok to admit your human everynow and then.
Im haveing some inspiration my recovery. i see wife with out fail(unless we have something going on) go to the gym to make herself a better person for her. i love her more than live right now.



some of my closest inpirational people.


chuck connor with you being sober for so long that dedication is something i have always wanted
doni connor your love for you family, i have seen no other.
miranda and brian ackley from the times we have been together, yall are some of the best young parents i have ever seen
amy dekle and jason miller, again great exapmple of good solid parents, jason you love for amy makes me pround to hopefully call you brother one day.
mom. i know i have been a pain, but without getting to emotional im proud your my mom.

meagan dekle, from day one you have left me in amazement. you inspire me to be a better man. once im fully recovered we will both shock the world lol.

last but not least. my dad. your where taken away from me right when i needed ya. but as im growing older, i try to be like you, i know you wernt perfect, but even as a young boy i saw things that i still try to copy. no one will ever be my dad but do have a couple that are nice stand ins, One you know(uncle bill) and i think one you would have a ball with(chuck)

Now that i have gotten all this down. im going to try and sleep really hard with the stitches. but im so happy that christmas is comeing and we get to go home.
you know you really fined your friends out when something like this happens.


smile, laugh, live and love

David Wayne Dekle

ok

This shits getting me upset, cant sleep cause of the incession. Happy with a couple aspects though, my fingers hurttttttttttt. picked up jasmine today, shes so smooth sounding. second thing less than a week we will be in kansas for christmas. it bothers me though that, the only gift we can bring is ourselfs.
i am so restless, cant do anything but walk, and with the cold air that make asthma worse. its a sad day though i really found out my true friends during this trip through my head. and whats shocking they r younger than me.

Music wise jasmine has become my friend, my drill instructor making me wanna go til i cant move my hands.
thanks to my mom started reading a new book about roger staubauch. very good but like with the computer i cant hold it up or my head long enough before shoulders and incession start hurting.
LIFE WISE im trying not to eat bad food, but not watching quanity, cause having a sorta last run, cause as soon as these stitches come out its a whole different ball game. friend sent me a text about new heavy weight hes lifting, made me jealous he could be at gym to do this.
things changing next year will be me, guitar playing just need a friend who has time to jam, not charge me my first child and wont get frustrated.

live,laugh, love and smile

david dekle

well

been home a couple of days cant sleep, cant get comfy. not going to be the able to handle this time off if weather stays bad. the wind kills my asthma.
been really missing the feeling i get when i work out, the feeling of actually doing something productive, i wanna start working on music, but cant find my guitair tuner any the where. and one of people i wanted to try and help me has prioritys, so i dont want to inpeed on them with the holidays. i wanna start working out slowly but head starts bothing me. but i will still comitt to the vow i will be a different man by this time next year. i will not put my family through this shit again, high powers willing. my mind is set. i dont know how its going to happen. but it will.
all for now

smile, live laugh and love

daVID

well day 3

well day 3 in hospital, surgery went well got some werid contion that only 220 other report cases. bored and lonley miss my wife and my guitar, i wanna play but got tubes all in my hands. i know i told meagan to go home save some time for revisits and trip for christmas i still miss her. it made me feel so much better when she laid beside me in bed.
to bad cant go home to at least friday, but i am happy the hard parts over.

smile, live lauch and love

david dekle

todays the day

well tonight we will be leaving for dallas to get ready for my surgery tomorrow. really and truelly finally hit me this weekend, im nervoues as shit. but got to much left to do in my life, so ill be back. I vow that after this i will do my best to be a better man through out everything in my life. i,once i get realased by doctor, will be in the gym all the time. im so tired of this size i am. im tired of being sick, so glad this years almost done.
people aslways ask me why im still at my job, i know i get payed crapy for what do i when, with the medical isses i have had this year. THey have payed for a lot. i am truely blessed with one of the best insurance companys.


well thanks to all for the prayers, yall keep them up need them for a few more days lol.
well im out of here, will be trying to get on the puter sometime while im in the hospital so i can give some report from the actual patiant.

SMILE,LIVE,LAUGH, and LOVE
David Dekle